So my blog for today is going to be short, sweet, and directly to the point; which is (ironically) the antithesis of the subject toward which I'm about to rant.
Does anyone else have Alltel (its entirely possible I'm spelling this wrong and it should read "Altell". It's definitely a 50/50) as their cell phone carrier? If so, please comment on here and back me up on this.
Now, I'm not setting out to complain about Alltel's service. Sure, I get dropped calls and in select places my service is better than others; but hey, that's going to happen with all carriers, right? (note: I tried Cingular once and I LOATHED their service; but other friends of mine have Cingular and swear by it. Luck with cell phone carriers is definitely a 50/50).
No, instead of criticizing my service (which seems pointless), I want to talk about the new automated voice recording system(which is pointless) that was implemented about three months ago when Alltel "did maintenance" on their network-wide voicemail system. Suddenly, after this "maintenance" was done, our voicemailboxes began featuring the same computerized woman from before, only she suddenly began speaking with incomprehensible redundancy.
Here is what my voicemail now says to me when I go to retrieve my messages: "You have three unheard voice messages... the following messages have not been heard... first unheard message..."
Why, pre tel, is it necessary for this nasally-pitched-automated-drone-of-a-woman (who sounds a bit like George Costanza's mom, Estelle) to tell me 3 times that which is patently obvious: that I have not listened to the upcoming message? Is it really that important? No, it's not.
So there must be another reason. And, after talking to my friend Chase the other day, I think I know what that reason is: I think it is to get us to stay on the phone longer and to, consequently, expire our precious minutes.
Think about it, phone companies use a similar maneuver everytime you call someone and get their voicemail. Whereas once upon a time you were put directly through to that person's voicemail where you could quickly say your piece and hang-up, now it's far more complicated.
Today, you first have to listen to the automated woman say something like: "..push 1 to page this person (Now, why on earth would anyone want to page the person? Who even knows what a page is anymore--other than Congressman Mark Foley?).
Then, after that option, it tells you to push two for something else, than three for something else... and then, it informs you that if you would like to leave a message, then you should just simply "stay on the line" (umm, duh), and, when you're finished leaving your message, push other buttons for more options.
Give me a second to collect my thoughts here...
...
WHAT OTHER OPTIONS?! It's a freaking voice message! This isn't a Senate Committee Hearing on Nuclear Defense Strategies. Just let me leave the message and hang up; you know, like I used to do before my cell phone was the size of a raisin and my "circle" referred to the culdesac I lived in.
All I'm saying is that the redundancy and the option-overkill is likely part of a grand conspiracy: I think it is geared toward screwing we consumers out of our minutes, and thus, out of our money. Call me a cynic, but I think that's why Estelle Costanza tells me, three different times, that my messages haven't, as of yet, been listened to.
Or, I suppose it's entirely possible I'm wrong about this. It could just be that the American public really is so stupid that we need a little computerized woman to walk us through every single step of how to leave and check a message like we're three-year-olds watching Sesame Street. Who knows.
I suppose it's a 50/50.
8 comments:
I will say this -- if Alltel Estelle's voice is changed in these prompts so that she shrilly shouts "GEORGIE!" before every instruction, I am so switching my service to Alltel. They might as well make it part of a sales pitch.
Good to hear Mark Foley's name again. I was getting tired of only hearing about you're boy Sen. Larry Craig.
And the whole thing about voicemail minutes...I think that since you're calling your own number it's kinda like mobile-to-mobile (which atleast for me on AT&T are free), therefore making it a free call. Maybe now that Cingular is now "The New AT&T" you should give it another go.
Good point. In addition, I always thought it would be a great invention to actual have each voicemail on a list with the number/name, and then you could select the voicemails you would like to listen to, and either delete, or save the other voicemails to listen to at a later date. This way you are not listening to voicemails of people you have already talked to, and not wasting minutes to do so. Your cell service does sound like it is trying to just add on the minutes though, but I suppose it is not the best thing to really focus our attention on and worry about. I think it is just the way consumerism goes.
Okay, this cracked me up. First off, let me say that woman is moonlighting. Because she's the same one that gives me the options when I call my voicemail, and I have Verizon. Conspiracy, you say?
Secondly, good luck with Altell. I had Altell a few years ago, and bought out of my contract. I had Spring, which was okay, until it merged with Nextel, and it all went downhill. I love my Verizon service. Even if the little lady that tells me my voicemail options is terribly annoying.
Thirdly...I HATE those long voicemail introductions. You'd think those cell phone companies would know by now that we all know what to do after we hear the beep. LOL.
BTW...Verizon doesn't charge us minutes for calling our own voicemail. ;)
uh....sorry for the novel. :)
I have Alltel as well and I feel the "maintenance" seemed a bit unnecessary.
The drawn out and completely obvious instructions the lady gives may very well be the reason I hate voicemails, that and how I never like the way my own voice sounds on the greeting!
: )
HAHA....Dude this was hilarious!
I used to have Alltel too but they sucked so I changed over to NTelos. So far so good.
To think I thought I was the only one who noticed stuff like this. Got me to thinking...maybe its just our phone company....but when you call someone and the line is busy...why does that stupid automated lady have to say just that. OR when you call and no one is answering and she tells you that. Talk about stating the obvious!
But you know what they say...warning labels were made because some idjit forgot to take the frozen pizza out of the box before cooking it. Maybe the same principle applies here. ;)
So, Cingular (now the new AT&T) isn't any better.
"You have 1 unheard message. First unheard message... End of new messages. To delete this message press 7. To save it in the archives press 9. To hear this message again press one. For more options press 0. To disconnect press the * key."
Um... wouldn't it just be easier to close your minniature camera flip phone and end the call than to wait for her to tell you which button to push that will have the same results!? 8-|
Hey Austin,
I'm missing your posts! Hope you're well!
Merry Christmas! :)
Post a Comment