Okay, I just heard something very newsworthy that should serve as encouragement for any individuals between the ages of 18-30:
It's evidently not just Gen Y that produces crazies.
Please, feast your eyes on the woman to the left. Yes... I know... it's terrifying...but fear not, because it's not really who you think it is; although you are right: she does look exactly like Cruella De Vil (with a hint of Ursula from The Little Mermaid thrown in for good measure). No, this grotesque woman (who also bears a strong resemblance to both The Joker and Albert Finney) is Leona Hemsley who, and please understand that I'm not hyperbolizing here, just died and left 12 million dollars to... wait for it... her DOG. And I don't mean "dog" as in, "I just hung out with my dawg Robbie."
I mean she left 12 million dollars to that little cloud sitting in her lap. Now, this is outrageous. I'm trying to understand, but I just can't grasp it. Please, someone enlighten me: what is a dog going to do with 12 million dollars?
The worst part of this whole unbelievable story is that she shunned two grandchildren, leaving them nothing. Not a single buck. Not even a freaking Wonka bar.
I mean, can you imagine the lawyer she worked with when drawing up her will?
"Umm, I'm sorry Ms. Hemsley, but did you say your dog?"
"Yes, do you have a problem with that?"
"And let me get this right: not a single dollar to your own progeny?
"My what?"
"Your progeny... you know, your lineage... your grandkids."
"Oh, no. Screw them, they can make their own money."
"So you're giving your dog 12 million dollars and leaving your grandchildren none. I am understanding this correctly, yes?"
"Correct."
(Lawyer mutters...)
"What did you say?"
"I said what a bitch."
"Excuse me?!"
"Oh, I'm sorry... I meant the dog... I was saying--- you know... what a bi... I meant, the dog. What a lucky dog."
So, the silver lining in this story, broken down MasterCard style:
One dog: 12 million dollars.
Two grandchildren: 0 dollars.
Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan looking sane: priceless
